Thursday, January 31, 2013

lesson learned about dealing with bad decision

free will means (in my humble opinion) that, you make your own path, you make your own decision, no one, not even 'god' knows which path you will choose, which way you will make. meaning, you are on your own. all of the consequences (good or bad) that you've made is entirely happened because of you decision.

now. isn't that sounds a bit...heavy?
i mean, of course it makes you respect more about decision making and think before decide-it-anyway.

but me, i prefer to see it in a more flexible way. i'm not that mentally strong person (nor physically), so i decided that i'm not strong enough to carry the concept of having free will. i like to pretend that i have tho'.. like, when it happens, when i thought i've made a bad decision and the effect after that is too hard for me to get through it, i always reminded myself that i'm the one who make the first decision. i already know the consequences, but i do it anyway. so i won't put the blame to anyone else but me.

but, if it's still too heavy, then i switch my mind set to not-believe-in-free-will.
i'll say to myself that, this is meant to be.
i was meant to think that i've made a wrong decision, but there must be something good come out from that situation. then i'll tell myself to keep calm, whatever happen, happens.

so, the rules are :

- think wisely before you decide.

- think about the consequences and the worst case scenario, is it worth the action? do you really really want to do it even after you aware of the consequences? if yes, then do it.

- you've hurt someone else because of your decision? feel guilty until you promise your self you won't do the same mistake in the future.

- don't let guilt dwarf you. remember, everything goes with a reason. you might not meant to hurt someone but if someone gets hurt anyway, think that this might be your role. that someone might have to be hurt by you (or someone else) for their own good. because being hurt can make people more mature and will make them stronger. if they can't handle being hurt and be a bad person because of that, then that's their problem, that's their decision. not yours anymore. the most important thing is you feel guilty, you regret, but you learn from it, forgive yourself and move on.

- open your mind. if you're in a bad situation, always remember that there's no one to blame but yourself.

- moaning and compalining about it will just make you worse. because nobody wanna be friends with a moaner and complainer. 

- knowledge your mistakes, accept, and deal with the problems. if it's too heavy, you can always blame god or the universe for it. but don't stop trying your best.

- you can complain, but you also have to know that complaining too much without thinking about solution will just make you a b*tch. and you'll lose your friends. and that's not their fault.

- don't forget that you can always start again. losing someone that you love dearly is not an easy task, but you will have to get through it anyway.


yeah well, i'll be 26 soon. so maybe this is some lesson i've learned in my 25 years of being human.

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