biggest fear

my biggest fear is being forgotten.

yet, not so long ago, i have choose to forgetting someone. i don't know if it was a right thing to do or not. but i know i always hate what i become every time i feel close to him. i really missed him though, but i can't go near him.

second thing i fear most is not having a friend.

and that is what i feel right now. i don't know, maybe it's because i'm expecting an ideal kind of friendship. i want, or i need somebody who relies on me so i can rely on them too. but right now, i can't rely on anybody because there's nobody relying on me.

to whom should i seek a soothing voice? to tell me there's nothing to be worried?

so this is why i really need someone to need me.
because i will need them too. because i will know where to run when i need someone to sooth me. because i will always be there too if that someone needs me.
but if nobody runs to me, then to whom should i run to?

and don't tell me about god and prayer, please.
just..not that.